Regularly I am not an angry or mean tempered person. However, I have bottled up inside now for almost a year some feelings that I think I need to let out. I’ve been extremely concerned about the repercussions of this rant, but after much thought, and a little motivation from some supportive friends, I am writing it. So, in the words of Drake… This one’s for you. You know who you are. (I may not be using that with the same intent as Drake though.)
Every human is beautiful in their own unique way. We are all different. Whether we choose to admit it or not, there IS beauty in individuality. Well, I had a friend who felt very different. I had a friend who felt it necessary to point out all my flaws, and not just point them out but explain to me how they disabled my ability to work in this industry. This so-called friend wanted me to get plastic surgery. Mmmm hmmmm, you guessed it. Boob Job. (Imagine Aubree arms crossed, angry smirk, and 1 raised eyebrow… This is a very important visual.) They were claiming that it was a very simple procedure, and that there were endless finance options available to me. This person also felt it important to remind me, that I am just less attractive because of my lack of “boobs” and that no man was ever going to be attracted me unless I fixed my situation. My current situation being that I resembled a little boy who was not “hot”. Quite a friend don’t you think? Here is my message to all you young self-conscience people out there who may have an equally as supportive friend as I did. (Supportive my ***)
You are beautiful. Someone will find you more beautiful than you know, I am sure there are plenty already. No person can decided what is right for you, better than you. No boyfriend, parent, friend, casting director, agent, manager, or even stranger should be making those decision about how you need to appear. I don’t even mean this to be specific to cosmetic surgery. I know deep down that I have something amazing to offer and purchasing big fun bags is not going to improve my dancing or personality in anyway. Beauty comes from the inside and I know that there is something attractive and beautiful about every single person on this planet whether they choose to show it or not. But believing it; that should never be a question. I don’t doubt myself, and neither should you. I don’t want to look or act like anyone else, and neither should you. Loving who you are and appear to be is one of the most important keys to being a gorgeous human being inside and out.
In moving to Los Angeles you prepare yourself for this industry knowing that your appearance does factor into your auditions. You set yourself up for the possibility that someone may tell you that you are fat, ugly, boyish, too skinny, or flat out wrong for the job. But it is a job. You have the ability to decide what works for you, and let those comments fall off your shoulders like rain. A friend is a completely different situation. A friend is someone who should care for you, and respect you for the complete person you are. So, ladies and gentlemen, if you have a friend who resembles the one I am speaking of in this story, I strongly urge you to remove them immediately from your life. I did.
Now, I am happy. Fighting off a small complex given to me by the one the only, but each day gets better. I know that I will never ever change my appearance for someone else and that I stand firm on my ideal that no surgery will make me feel any more attractive or beautiful.
And now… my message for that unfortunate soul who once had the honor of calling me friend:
Dun dun duuuuuunnnnnnnnnnn….. (lights dimming “Millionaire” style)
Hey, popstar, you are a not so nice human being. Wait. I can be meaner. Ahem. Deep Breath. Yo, douche bag, you are a F*cking D*ck! (I find it incredibly therapeutic to scream that sentence out loud every time I proofread this.) You truly broke my heart when I found out that a friend (who I cared for deeply and defended for so long) turned out to be exactly who everyone warned me you would be. I am not sure what it is that causes you to push people away the way you do, but I gotta tell you, it sucks. Keep it up, and I promise you will be living one lonely pathetic lifestyle. Stop judging. Take a good long look in the mirror, because I have to tell you, there is nothing attractive about how you treat the people around you. I am surprised by some of the people who have put up with your heartlessness, but to each there own breaking points. Knowing you, you’ll find them all eventually. If you are projecting your own personal insecurities, go hug your mom. She will tell you how beautiful you are and that you are loved. There is absolutely no need make fun of everyone else. I know that miles below that disgusting front you put up there is a genuine person who I originally became friends with. So stop being such a jerk, if you think it attracts girls, it doesn’t. You are still single. I wish deeply to find that friend I had once upon a time… let me know if you find yourself anytime soon amongst that pile of bull you spit out on a daily basis. Oh, and by the way…. a text message is NOT an apology. Try harder… use some real human emotions there pal.
Whew! That was exhausting. Being mean isn’t fun, but it felt good to vent a little. Into the blogosphere it goes, with a somewhat hopeful heart that things do change. (doubtful) A girl can dream. A little shout out to all of my very incredible and support friends and family. I love you all and feel honored to have such kind beautiful people in my life. You make smile inside and out. I love you.